Michael Phelps is an Inspiring Machine

Let’s get one thing straight off the bat: I am no olympian, I haven’t swam a lap since I was 16, and the 800 meter was almost too long for me to watch. Swimming is not my sport of choice during the Olympics, but holy everything! Have you seen the guy swim? I mean, who can blame the media for having a massive erection over his every move? It’s the best Olympic story in a long time. This guy is twenty-three years old; twenty-three years old and in possesion of eleven gold medals. In the last leg of the 800m last night he didn’t eve have competition, and everyone was sweating it out on the couch because he was behind until the last leg.

It is now clear to me that no matter what happens no one is going to beat Michael Phelps which is why, along with the lifeless look on his face after he won an olympic event, I believe Michael Phelps to be a robot created by the U.S. government to restore some Olympic glory to our fair Nation. He’s gotta be, that’s the only logical explination.

This one’s for you, Mr. Roboto!

[mp3] Broken Social Scene – Swimmers
[mp3] Great Lake Swimmers – Bodies and Minds

The Olympics Start Today

Who else is pumped? I mean, the things come once every four years, you know they’re good But really, I’m pretty excited about the Olympics: something about them has always fascinated me. They’re not just the biggest sporting event in the world, they’re also a political event, ya see, and this year’s olympics (in case you live under a metaphorical rock) are being held in China, which should make for some interesting times to say the least. Yay America.

[mp3] Broken Social Scene – Canada Vs. America
[mp3] James Figurine – All The Way To China
[mp3] Wilco – Impossible Germany
[mp3] Billy Bragg – A New England